In recognition of Breast Cancer Awareness Month, Toni Graves shares her breast cancer journey.
By Toni Graves
I have spent most of my adult life putting others first, advocating for my community, mentoring young people, serving on boards, and showing up for anyone who needed me. But in 2024, life forced me to pause and look inward. It was then that I heard the words that changed everything, “You have breast cancer.”
For twelve years, I went without a mammogram. I had no symptoms and no reason to think anything was wrong. I was always busy making sure everyone else was okay. When I finally decided it was time to prioritize my health, I expected to walk away from my gynecologist appointment with a clean bill of health. Instead, my provider told me she felt a lump in my left breast. I was shocked. I hadn’t noticed a thing.
The next day, I had a mammogram and an ultrasound. A few days later, I went in for a biopsy. Before I could even get home, I saw a message in my online medical chart that my results were ready, but they were blocked from my viewing. It was a Friday and the office closed early for the weekend. It was agonizing waiting until Monday. Deep down, I knew something was wrong.
When I finally reached my provider that Monday morning, I was told to come in. I cleared my schedule, braced myself, and went. The words I feared became reality: malignant for triple-negative breast cancer, with a 29 millimeter mass. I sat there in silence, numb, trying to process what I had just heard.
On my way home, I called my husband to tell him the devastating news. Upon arrival, I climbed into bed, pulled the covers over my head, and wept until I couldn’t cry anymore. Then I got angry with myself. Angry that I had gone twelve years without a mammogram, even though I had health insurance. Angry that I had given so much to my community while neglecting my own health. Angry because I didn’t know what my future held. I wasn’t ready to die. I wanted to see my oldest daughter get married in November, and my youngest daughter finish nursing school, and my son excel in his career. I wanted to grow old with my husband and watch all our grandchildren grow up.
Two weeks later, I had my first oncology consultations. My husband, sister-in-law and I spent the entire day at the cancer center searching for answers. My main oncologist walked in and introduced herself. She told me that my medical profile looked almost identical to hers four years earlier. I immediately knew God had placed me in the right hands. She was living proof that I could survive and, as it turned out, she is my sorority sister. That connection gave me comfort and strength I didn’t know I needed.
I met with the surgical and radiation teams, and together we developed a treatment plan. To date, my husband attended every scheduled appointment with me, well over 100. For five months, I received chemotherapy each week. It was grueling. I developed neuropathy, which made it difficult to walk or even perform basic tasks. On Super Bowl Sunday, I woke up, and my hair was gone. The journey was getting more unpredictable and uncomfortable.
On July 17th, I underwent a bilateral mastectomy. The surgeons replaced my breast tissues with expanders that will later be removed during final reconstruction surgery next year. The pathology report revealed a 2.5 millimeter mass was extracted, so I was placed back on chemotherapy to continue treatment until February 2026.
Despite the pain and moments of uncertainty, I never lost faith. I refused to let cancer define me. I found peace in doing what I’ve always loved, serving others. As soon as I began to heal, I was back in the community, helping wherever I could. That’s where I find joy, strength, and purpose.
Since sharing my story, I’ve received numerous calls and messages from women asking questions about preventive measures. My transparency has motivated many to get their mammograms. One lady told me that because she followed my advice, her doctors found cancer in its earliest stage, allowing her to avoid aggressive treatments. That testimony alone reminds me that my journey is not in vain, it’s part of God’s greater plan.
Although this journey has not been easy, it is filled with purpose, strength, and growth. And today, and every day, I am thankful for what God is doing in me and through me. Jeremiah 29:11 reads, “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” I am still here, and that means my work is not done.
The irony of it all is that I lost my 2024 county council bid for office just a few months before being diagnosed, and what appeared to be a setback turned out to be divine intervention, the best thing that could have happened to me because it was at that point I decided to make myself a priority, and it saved my life!
